By Reginia Dodson | UAB Community Health and Human Services Intern

In the famous words of Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” (Maya Angelou, 2023). Often, we as women, and most importantly black women tend to overlook all of the warning signs of a toxic relationship. This may include a romantic, friendship, or even a professional relationship.

Abuse is a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another (Team, 2021). DMost women often ignore the tell-tale signs of an abuser, Abuse comes in all forms such as verbal, physical, and financial. It can come in form of your good friend that always needs to borrow that little $40 she can never seem to pay back. It is amazing how little your $40 becomes when you dare to ask for them back. The excuses you hear when you ask to become a barrage of putdowns and make the situation even worse. Nevertheless, this is an example of financial abuse.

Next, we have the person that always has something negative to say, or makes a harsh comment that may offend us in some way. This is sign of verbal abuse. Sometimes it is easy for us to ignore these statements and signs, or to justify their reasoning behind their actions, but this behavior should not be tolerated. 

Lastly, we have the outright physical abuser. This particular person wants to physically harm you. “But it was only one time, they promised me it wouldn’t happen again “, a common yet horrific statement of those suffering from physical abuse. If someone causes us harm, we should run and never look back. Physical abuse can ultimately lead to permanent injury or even death.

You better believe them all. We should be able to identify our limitations and boundaries; and consider them often when experiencing abuse. No relationship is worth a hit to your mental, financial, or physical health so protect it at all costs.

References 

Maya Angelou quotes. (n.d.). Retrieved March 28, 2023, from https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/maya_angelou_383371

Team, R. (2021, August 24). 6 different types of abuse. Retrieved March 28, 2023, from https://reachma.org/blog/6-different-types-of-abuse/