By Jaslyn Bush | UAB Community Health & Human Services Program Intern

Death is an inevitable part of life. Grieving a loved one can be challenging, taking years to recover from the loss. In my experience, the grieving process for a loved one is never truly over because I will always remember that person. “Grief most often gets less intense over time, but the sense of loss can last for decades. Certain events, mementos or memories can bring back strong emotions, that usually last for a short time” (National Cancer Institute [NCI], 2013). Grief feels like the process of accepting that the person is no longer alive. There are three types of grief: anticipatory grief, normal grief, and complicated grief (National Cancer Institute, 2013).

According to Stanford Parkinson’s Community Outreach, anticipatory grief is the act of grieving somebody who is still alive but, expected to pass away from sickness or other health complications (Stanford Parkinson’s Community Outreach, n.d.). From my experience with grief, I believe anticipatory grief is the hardest type of grief to go through. Before both of my grandmothers passed away due to sickness, I couldn’t get over the fact that one day, they wouldn’t be here anymore. Every time I spent time with either of them, I felt this lingering sadness that one day I would never get to see or talk to them again.

The NCI explains that normal grief occurs when an individual has acknowledged and accepted their loss and continues with their life, even though it may be difficult. Some common themes of normal grief include periods of sadness, disbelief, emotional numbness, anxiety, and distress. This can also lead to loss of sleep, hallucinations of the deceased, and loss of appetite (National Cancer Institute, 2013).

Complicated grief occurs when intense sadness/grief lasts longer than expected. According to the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT), complicated grief affects 2-3% of the population worldwide. Signs of complicated grief include constant thoughts about the deceased, avoiding reminders of the deceased, along with keeping reminders of deceased such as their pictures or belongings (ABCT, 2021). Complicated grief usually lasts 6 months or longer, depending on if the individual has social, cultural, or religious connections to the deceased (ABCT, 2021).

When experiencing one or more types of grief, I have adapted some suggestions from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) regarding what one can do who is experiencing grief:

• Seek comfort and lean on the support of others in your network.
• Create a positive and purposeful routine.
• Honor your loved ones who have passed.
• If necessary, get help from a professional.
• If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Have you experienced grief before? What are some of the emotions that you felt? What helped you to overcome one or more types of grief? Please feel free to share in the comments section or post an encouraging message at the Wilkinson Wellness Lab on Facebook.

References

Anticipatory Grief. (n.d.). Stanford Parkinson’s Community Outreach. https://med.stanford.edu/parkinsons/caregiver-corner/caregiving-topics/anticipatory-grief.html

Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. (2023, May 26). Grief. https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/emotion/grief/index.html.

Complicated Grief | Fact Sheet. (2021, March 4). ABCT – Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. https://www.abct.org/fact-sheets/complicated-grief/

National Cancer Institute. (2013, March 6). Grief, Bereavement, and Coping With Loss. National Cancer Institute; cancer.gov. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/advanced-cancer/caregivers/planning/bereavement-pdq