Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs. For families raising children with both Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), the challenges can feel magnified. ADHD often brings difficulties with attention and impulse control, while ODD is marked by defiance, anger, and frequent arguments with authority figures. Together, these conditions can lead to stress at home and school but there are proven ways parents can respond with resilience and care.

1. Understand the “Why” Behind the Behavior

Children with ODD are not simply being “difficult.” Their brain wiring and frustration tolerance make it harder for them to manage emotions. Understanding that defiance often comes from overwhelm—not willful disobedience—helps parents approach situations with empathy (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry [AACAP], 2021).

2. De-Escalate Instead of Engage

When children argue, it’s natural to want to correct them immediately. But power struggles often make defiance worse. Staying calm, lowering your voice, and allowing a short cooling-off period can prevent conflict from spiraling. Pick your battles—save energy for the behaviors that matter most (National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH], 2023).

3. Use Clear and Neutral Consequences

Unlike children with ADHD alone, those with ODD often test limits repeatedly. Consequences should be consistent, immediate, and unemotional—such as loss of a privilege for a set time. Harsh punishments or yelling tend to increase oppositional behavior, while neutral, predictable responses reduce it (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2023).

4. Strengthen Emotional Regulation

Teaching coping skills helps children respond differently in moments of frustration. Simple strategies include practicing “stop and breathe” before reacting, role-playing problem-solving, or using calming spaces at home. Over time, these tools build self-control and reduce angry outbursts.

5. Try Parent Management Training

Evidence shows that parent training in behavior management is highly effective for children with ADHD and ODD. These programs coach parents on positive discipline, limit-setting, and reinforcing cooperation. With practice, families often see improvements in both child behavior and household stress (AACAP, 2021).

6. Build a Strong Support Network

Managing ADHD and ODD can be draining. Parents benefit from support groups, counseling, or connecting with other families facing similar challenges. Extended family, teachers, and mental health providers can also be valuable allies in creating consistency across settings.

The Bottom Line: Children with ADHD and ODD need structure, calm responses, and patient guidance. By focusing on de-escalation, consistent consequences, emotional skill-building, and parent training, families can reduce conflict and build stronger relationships rooted in trust and understanding.

References

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2021). Oppositional defiant disorder resource center. https://www.aacap.org

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Parent training in behavior management for ADHD. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/behavior-therapy.html

National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Disruptive, impulse-control, and conduct disorders. https://www.nimh.nih.gov

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common neurodevelopmental conditions in children, affecting attention, behavior, and self-control. An estimated 6 million children in the U.S. have been diagnosed with ADHD (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2023). While parents play a crucial role, schools are equally important in creating an environment where these children can thrive academically and socially.

1. Early Identification and Support

Teachers are often the first to notice signs of ADHD, such as difficulty staying focused, impulsive behavior, or struggles completing assignments. When concerns arise, schools can connect families with appropriate evaluations and resources. Early recognition allows for timely intervention, reducing frustration for both students and teachers (National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH], 2023).

2. Classroom Accommodations

Structured support helps children with ADHD reach their potential. Through 504 Plans or Individualized Education Programs (IEPs), students may receive accommodations like:

• Extended time on tests and assignments
• Preferential seating close to the teacher
• Frequent breaks to manage restlessness
• Simplified, step-by-step instructions

These small changes can make a significant difference in learning and confidence (American Academy of Pediatrics [AAP], 2019).

3. Positive Behavioral Strategies

Children with ADHD often face criticism for disruptive behavior. Instead, schools can promote positive reinforcement by acknowledging effort and progress rather than only pointing out mistakes. Reward systems, consistent routines, and visual cues support behavior management while building self-esteem (CDC, 2023).

4. Teacher Training and Awareness

Educators need the right tools to support diverse learners. Professional development on ADHD can help teachers understand classroom strategies, cultural considerations, and how to collaborate with parents and healthcare providers. Training also reduces stigma, ensuring students feel supported rather than singled out (NIMH, 2023).

5. Collaborative Partnerships

The best outcomes occur when schools, parents, and healthcare providers work as a team. Regular communication ensures consistency in expectations and strategies across home and school. Schools can also connect families with counselors, psychologists, or social workers who provide additional support (AAP, 2019).

6. Promoting Healthy Routines in School

Daily exercise breaks, mindfulness activities, and opportunities for hands-on learning can help students with ADHD stay engaged. Encouraging physical activity and reducing excessive screen time during the school day also support focus and self-regulation (Healthy People 2030, 2020).

The Bottom Line: Children with ADHD can thrive when schools provide structure, compassion, and collaboration. By implementing accommodations, training staff, and partnering with families, schools can empower students to learn with confidence and succeed inside and outside the classroom.

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of ADHD in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2019-2528

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Data and statistics about ADHD. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html

Healthy People 2030. (2020). Children with ADHD who get treatment. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. https://health.gov/healthypeople

National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd

Parenting is never one-size-fits-all, and when raising a child with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), it can feel even more challenging. ADHD affects about 6 million children in the United States, influencing their ability to focus, control impulses, and manage daily routines (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2023). But with the right tools and strategies, parents can help their children succeed both at home and in school.

1. Learn About ADHD

Understanding ADHD is the first step. ADHD is not a result of bad behavior or poor parenting—it is a neurodevelopmental condition. By learning about the symptoms, treatment options, and how ADHD affects learning and emotions, parents can approach challenges with patience and empathy (National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH], 2023).

2. Build Structure and Routines

Children with ADHD thrive in predictable environments. Clear daily schedules—such as set times for homework, play, and bedtime—can reduce anxiety and help kids stay on track. Visual aids like charts or planners can serve as helpful reminders (CDC, 2023).

3. Use Positive Reinforcement

Children with ADHD often hear more about what they are doing wrong than what they are doing right. To boost self-esteem and encourage good behavior, parents should celebrate small wins. Whether it’s finishing homework on time or remembering to brush their teeth, positive praise reinforces desired actions far better than punishment alone (American Academy of Pediatrics [AAP], 2019).

4. Support Healthy Habits

Good sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular physical activity make a big difference in managing ADHD symptoms. Active play—like biking, dancing, or sports—can improve focus and reduce restlessness. Limiting screen time and ensuring consistent sleep routines also help children regulate their energy and emotions (NIMH, 2023).

5. Practice Open Communication

Listening is powerful. Encourage children to talk about how they feel and what strategies help them. Working together teaches them to advocate for their needs and builds trust. Family “check-ins” at the end of the day can be a safe space for kids to share frustrations or successes (Healthy People 2030, 2020).

6. Partner With Teachers and Professionals

Parents don’t have to face ADHD alone. Collaborating with teachers, school counselors, and healthcare providers ensures that children receive consistent support. This might include classroom accommodations, therapy, or medication when appropriate (AAP, 2019).

7. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting. Parents should remember that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Support groups, counseling, or even short breaks can help parents recharge and show up with patience and consistency (NIMH, 2023).

The Bottom Line: Children with ADHD can thrive when supported with structure, encouragement, and understanding. By combining healthy routines, positive communication, and teamwork with professionals, parents can help their children unlock their potential and build confidence that lasts a lifetime.

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of ADHD in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2019-2528

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Data and statistics about ADHD. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html

Healthy People 2030. (2020). Children with ADHD who get treatment. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. https://health.gov/healthypeople

National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd